Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
