your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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