He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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