The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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