new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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