Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
