I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize
