I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
