Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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