They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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