Tell her she can't have a vagina
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Let's paint friendship bongs
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
