i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
