i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
