dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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