i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
