That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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