its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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