why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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