I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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