5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
