Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
