Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
