Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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