your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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