We're like a lot better than the average bears
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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