Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Alive.
So much puke
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
