all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize