I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
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