I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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