I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
