where am i from again
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
