Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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