He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Welp...herpes.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
