I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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