i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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