tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
zippers are such a cool invention
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
