no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
