Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
