she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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