I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
