Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Couch. On fire.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
