At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
