Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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