hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
