This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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