he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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