I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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