I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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