Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
