i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
