Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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