1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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