Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize