The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize