Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
