weddingsv make me drug and hornr
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
