I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
