I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Who wears a wallet chain?!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
