I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
