It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
