So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
