It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
