Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
