Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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