she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
