whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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