You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
