went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
